Fredrick Vars posts at PrawfBlawg about the "Crisis in Federal Criminal Defense." Citing the Huffington Post and the New York Times Editorial Board, Vars notes that sequestration is undermining numerous federal public defender offices to the point of causing irreversible damage.
This is yet another of many wise steps our government is taking to proactively mitigate the damage that will be caused by the inevitable zombie apocalypse. As I wrote in my recent essay (about which I post here), federal criminal laws are one of America's strongest safeguards against zombies. The broad scope, strict liability, and mandatory restitution of many of these laws will ensure that zombies are effectively prosecuted and fined -- with their wealth transferred to the living.
The evisceration of federal public defender offices will further protect the United States from the zombie horde by ensuring that zombies prosecuted for violation of federal criminal laws will not be defended. Removing federal public defenders will both ensure efficient prosecution of zombies and prevent the zombies from infecting the attorneys who attempt to defend them. In light of these many benefits, it is unclear why commentators are lamenting the devastation of federal public defender offices.
Admittedly, a few non-zombie defendants will suffer because of the sequestration due to the inability of their resource-starved attorneys to mount an effective defense. This is the small price society must pay to ensure the continued survival of the living over the undead.
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